After Joes left it was time to make supper. I think the girls were pretty glad to hand the responsibility of meal planning over to me. We had LOTS of food in the house. People were bringing so much food we didn't have any room in the refrigerator and freezers anymore. Most of the meals were casseroles. Those did not fit into my low fat, low sodium diet, so we decided to just make plain tomato soup for supper that first evening. Since my daily allowance of salt was only 1/8 teaspoon, we decided we would cook everything without salt and the others could salt their food however they wanted. Have you ever eaten everything without salt? It isn't very tasty!
My heart attack had happened while sitting at the table to eat. That first evening at home I could not bring myself to sit at the table. I knew that was not what caused the heart attack, but it was scary. It was like a car accident victim not wanting to get back into a car. I stayed on my recliner to eat. If I remember right I was able to sit at the table the next day.
Sitting was very uncomfortable, so after supper I lay on the couch. It was hot outside, so everyone wanted to be inside. The air conditioner was noisy and I wasn't used to it. The children were happy and excited to have Mom at home again. All in all it was pretty hectic. As much as I wanted to be with the children I soon moved upstairs to our bedroom. I just couldn't cope with all the noise and commotion. Ah! My own bed with the memory foam felt so much better than a hard hospital bed. But I felt scared and vulnerable. Like I said in a previous post, there is a feeling of security in a hospital. Now I was at home, at least 15 minutes from a hospital. OK, I know that sounds like a lack of faith. We trust God, right? Yes! I did trust God, but the reality was, something could still go wrong and I was afraid. I always made sure I had my cell phone with me. Even something simple like going to the bathroom and locking the door was unsettling. What if I would just drop over and die. At bedtime I told Edward I have this discomfort in my chest and I don't know what it is. He prayed for me and after I had slept awhile it went away. I know now that it was just anxiety.
I came home with five different medications... Effient, Metoprolol, Lisinopril, Atorvastatin, and Aspirin. While at the hospital the nurses always brought them to me at the right time. Now I had to figure out when to take what. Everything was clearly labeled, so it wasn't as hard as I first thought. Edward bought a pill organizer and that made it much easier.
Edward and the girls got everyone settled down for the night. Michael's crib had been moved into the girls' room. They took care of him at night for about two weeks until I felt able to do it again. The night seemed strangely quiet and dark. In the hospital there were always lights on, people talking, and phones ringing, especially in the CCU where the nurses' station was right outside my door. I was able to sleep pretty good. There were some times that I lay awake, unable to sleep. That was when the nights seemed long and dark...
During the day I spent most of my time in bed or on the couch. My hips still made sitting very uncomfortable. I was supposed to walk twice a day. That really helped me get back into shape and after about a week my hips did not bother me much. At first I did all my walking in the house, since outside is mostly hilly, and I could only walk on level ground. Back and forth - around the rooms this way then that way so that I don't get dizzy. :) It was amazing how tired I got! I had to check my heart rate regularly. It could not go much above 100. Evenings it tended to go a little high. I don't know why, but it was a bit unsettling, so I didn't always take my evening walk.
Edward does remodeling and painting. To make it quieter here at home he took the three boys with him everyday. That was so nice that he was able to do that. Once when he was at the store they gave the boys some hats they were lusting for.......
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