Patient in Tribulation

Saturday night we were just falling asleep when our door creaked open and Marian, age 10, was standing there. "Do you want something?" we asked groggily.

"I vomited", she answered.

My heart sank way down as all the possibilities of what this could mean raced through my mind. Most of the time when she starts throwing up it's every 10 to 20 minutes and doesn't stop until we end up in the ER for zofran administered by IV. I helped her get settled again with a bucket on the chair beside her bed. I gave her a zofran tablet to dissolve under her tongue, but that didn't stay down. She is very good about always hitting the bucket, so I went back to bed and tried to get some sleep. Later in the night she came over again and said she would like to have some ice chips. I went downstairs, switched on the light and filled a cup with ice. Since the other zofran had not helped anything I was getting another one when Irene came around the corner. "Are you alright?" she asked. Here she was sick too. I put the zofran back in the cabinet. If it was a stomach virus, that was not what Marian needed. I went back to bed, but didn't sleep well. I was planning a trip to PA with the two little girls. What if we all came down with the stomach flu???

When we got up in the morning Irene was sleeping. She felt good when she woke up. Marian was still vomiting. I made some tea for her and gave her a zofran to dissolve under her tongue. She lay down on the couch and fell asleep. I got my cup of coffee and my Bible and settled down for my devotions. I opened my Bible. It fell open at Job 2:10 "What, Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" I checked the cross references...

Job 1:21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:38-41 Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD. Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens.

John 18:11 Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?

Romans 12:12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

Hebrews 12:9-12 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

That was a good meditation. I had often pondered the whys. Why, when we pray and pray for Marian to stop vomiting we still end up going to the hospital for IV??? Don't we have enough faith or ???? I guess if God would just instantly give us all the things we ask for we would never learn how to be patient in tribulation. We would never have a cup of trials to drink. Another reason I have struggled with that question is because of some people who have indicated it's a lack of faith to go to a doctor. We should trust God instead. Which reminds me of the first time we took Marian for IV when she was dehydrated. Dr. Schmadeke said he wonders how many lives could be saved all over the world if people would have access to IV. Then he said natural remedies are alright, but sometimes a doctor's help might be the way God is answering our prayers. He related the story of a man who was stranded on a raft out at sea. The man was praying that God would rescue him. After a while a helicopter came and dangled a rope to pull him up. The man waved it off and said God will rescue him. The helicopter was God's way of answering his prayer and he rejected it!

After giving Marian her pill, she fell asleep. When she woke up she was feeling fine! Praise the Lord! No one else got sick and we are busy getting ready for our trip to PA. I did go to the dentist this morning. I am having quite a bit of pain where the one wisdom tooth came out. The root had gone into the sinus and it hasn't closed up completely yet. He gave antibiotics for infection. If it's still not closed when we come back next week I'll have to go back to the oral surgeon for another procedure. :(

Miscellaneous Tidbits

Surrender

One day soon after I came home from the hospital I was resting on the couch. The CD player was playing softly. A group of young people were singing heartily, "All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give". The words grabbed my attention. ALL. FREELY GIVE. I wonder if they really realize what they are saying? Sure, what Christian wouldn't say that? That is the right thing to say. How often did I sing that song, but didn't realize the depth of the words I was singing? The attitude of my heart was right at the time, but I didn't understand the depth of the words. Now Jesus was asking for my health, and I did not want to surrender it.
*******************************************************************************

Chest Pains

After several weeks I started having some definite discomfort in my chest area. It wasn't bad enough that I could call it pain, just some discomfort sometimes. It scared me pretty bad. What is going on? I talked to the cardiac rehab nurses about it. Peggy wondered if it's worse when I exercise. "No", I said, "that doesn't seem to make it worse. Actually it doesn't seem to bother me as much then as when I am resting." She didn't think it sounded like a heart problem and suggested I take Tums and see if if that helps. It did, so she said I should take Prilosec, which is an antacid that I would have to take only once a day. I had a visit with Dr. Wilcox to get a prescription for Prilosec. She said so many people take it, it's almost like handing out candy! My discomfort/heartburn/acid reflux (or whatever) was likely a result of all my medications. Anxiety probably contributed to the problem too. I talked with her about my anxiety and fears. She said she could give me something to help me. I told her I would rather not at this time. I was already feeling somewhat better. I knew if I could take my thoughts captive, with the Lord's help, I would be able to overcome the anxiety. Her caring kindness helped too. After several months I was able to get off the Prilosec again.

To this day I still get pretty scared whenever I feel discomfort, muscle twitches, or anything in my chest area. I told my husband I never know anymore if what I am feeling is heartburn or not. I cannot feel the difference.
********************************************************************************

Taking care of Michael

Michael was 12 days old when I went to the hospital. All of a sudden his care fell on others. That was hard for me to accept. I love the newborn stage. Most days they brought him along to the hospital. Even though I wasn't able to do much with him, I enjoyed having him there. At night Irene and Annetta took care of him. He was a very good baby. We were so thankful for that. Our last three babies were very fussy. It seemed so strange to go to bed early and let the girls put the baby to sleep. It didn't feel right at all, but at the same time I really didn't care. Like I wrote before, I had lost those motherly feelings. It was almost as if he were someone else's baby. My body had gone through a shock and was in survival mode. I had to make a conscious effort to regain those "motherly feelings". I didn't want him to bond with someone else, so I tried to be the one to give his bottle and change his diapers etc. After a week and a half I felt able to take care of him again at night. It made me pretty nervous. I wasn't used to giving formula and had to figure out all that. We were boiling all the water. At first we warmed his bottles. How do you do that? Microwaving isn't recommended. It takes a long time to warm if you set it in hot water, which is what the girls were doing at night. To make it easier we decided to put warm water in a thermos, then I could mix the formula when he woke up. So we moved his crib back to our room. I fed him and rocked him to sleep that evening. We made sure we had all the supplies we would need during the night, then went to bed. Do you think I could sleep? NO! I tried to, but I was aware of every little stir that he made and thinking about how to get his bottle ready etc etc. He slept pretty good, but I did not. Finally at 3:00 I took him over to the girls and told them, "I am sorry, but I need to get some sleep too, and I simply cannot sleep with him in the room." We made a little nest for him on the floor of their room. I don't remember, but he probably didn't wake up the rest of the night for them. We kept his crib in our room and eventually I learned to sleep again. Dr. Wilcox told us a lot of people do not warm up the formula bottles. It did not seem right, but we soon stopped warming up his milk and gave it at room temperature. It didn't seem to bother him and when he was older he didn't like it warmed up.

And by the way, he did bond with me, and definitely knows who his mother is! :)

A Tribute to Other Mothers

A couple weeks after my heart attack I was talking with my sister. She asked if I heard of the young mother that just died. No, I had not heard. So she told me about the mother in MO that had died the day before. She had had a baby born by C-section and was still in the hospital when a blood clot passed through her lungs. All attempts to revive her failed and she died. She was only 35 years old and the mother of seven children. Why was I still alive and she was not? Why did she die and I didn't? It could have been me. It could be my husband that was a widower and my children motherless. God reminded me again that He makes no mistake. Even though we don't understand why one passes on and another is healed, we trust that this was God's plan. http://www.kidwellgarber.com/obituaries/Annetta-Leinbach/#!/Obituary

Two and a half years before my heart attack Dorcas Wenger died from a spontaneous coronary artery dissection - the same as I had. She too had a newborn baby.

Recently I heard of two Amish mothers who passed away. One of them had a three day old baby and died of an aneurysm. The other one was killed in an accident. My heart goes out to the sorrowing families. I feel humbled that God spared our family that grief.

Several months after my SCAD I got a phone call from Viola Martin in OH. My aunt had given her my number. Viola had also had SCAD. It was so interesting to talk to someone who had gone through the same thing. She too had a two week old baby when it happened. Hers was worse than mine, with three arteries dissecting. She had six bare metal stents put in. Later she needed to have bypass surgery because they had clogged with scar tissue. After talking with her I felt like I had not gone through much!

Then I also got a call from Mr. Bowman in Ontario. His wife had just come home from the hospital after having SCAD. She did not need stents or surgery. As far as I know she has recovered well. I should call or write to her again. She also had a two week old baby.

God is Good - His Mercy Endures Forever

July 14. A day that has a flood of memories. The anniversary of my SCAD event. As I was thinking over the hills and valleys of the past two years I thought, "God is good - His mercy endures forever". He carried me through the low times and was with me through the good times. This morning I read some of the verses that had been such a blessing to me while I was in the hospital and the future looked scary. "Thou wilt perfect that which concerneth me". I felt like God was answering the cry in my heart and telling me, "Everything will be alright". Now two years later I can say that everything is alright. I experienced a complete recovery exactly as the doctors predicted. Life has returned to normal. Some things will never be the same again. I will always have those stents in my LAD artery. Will they cause complications in the future? I don't know, but I know who holds the future. I will not feel anything in my chest without some apprehension. But by the grace of God I will rejoice in the Lord, knowing that He makes no mistakes.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Every burden's getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.

There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow;
It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow,
Is the one who stands by me.

And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Ira Stanphill

Family update

In case you are wondering how I could have time to do so many posts in one day... On Monday I had my top wisdom teeth removed. Yes, I am a teething Mama, like someone said! I always thought I am one of the lucky people who will never get wisdom teeth, so I was very surprised this winter when what I thought was just a sore spot or ulcer on my gums turned out to be a new tooth!

In May we took a family trip to Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks. We also spent a day in Cody, WY. Of course we took lots of pictures, 1800 to be exact. :) After my SCAD episode we gave the girls a Nikon D5200 as a gift for helping so much when I was laid up. They have turned into pretty good photographers.

The famous barns with the Grand Tetons in the background.

Dad and Mom in front of the courting buggy :)

Irene 18, Annetta 17, Marian 10, Ruth Anna 6, Rhoda 3

Jonathan 8, Michael almost 2, Joel 14, Simon 12

Grand Canyon of Yellowstone

A Year Later

 I went back to Creighton to have a CT angiogram done to see if the artery has healed. The next day I saw Dr. Holmberg to get the results. It looks fine, he said. There was one part where the stents overlap that they couldn't see. Earlier he told me if everything looks fine I can get off all the blood thinners except aspirin. Now he said because of where the dissection occurred and the stents are placed he wants me to stay on blood thinners. He switched me from Effient to Plavix, which isn't as strong. The stents are at the top of the LAD (left anterior descending) artery, which feeds 75% of the heart. He said several times they really don't know how to treat this. It isn't heart disease and it's very rare. I have been his third patient in 20 years. Mayo Clinic is doing a research study on spontaneous coronary artery dissection. I have entered that study. So far all I had to do was release my medical records. Dr. Holmberg talked about calling the cardiologists from Mayo to ask them what they have found out. We have been so grateful for doctors and the wisdom God has given them.

Somehow once I passed that first anniversary I felt more of a rest in my spirit. Maybe it was just hearing the doctor say, "Your artery is healed and the stents look ok". Whatever... I am just so grateful for a full recovery. I asked Dr. Holmberg if I still need to take care in the heat. "Well", he chuckled, "If the temperature is 110 and the humidity 90% you should probably let Edward do the work." My only restriction is to not lift too heavy stuff.

1. I will end with a song that expresses my feelings...

1. 
   

Cardiac Rehab

Two weeks after I came home I had a follow up appointment with my cardiologist, Dr. Holmberg. He is from Omaha, but comes to the hospital in Atlantic several times a month, so that is where I went to see him. He ordered an echo cardiogram which they were able to do there. The results were good. The fluid around my heart was gone and my heart function was back to almost normal.

I also had my first cardiac rehab that day. Several days earlier I had come in to visit with Peggy, the head nurse of cardiac rehab. She went over what happened, what medications I'm taking etc etc. She also gave me some educational material about cholesterol and heart health. My cholesterol was too high (240), it should be under 200. So she talked about what foods I should and should not eat. She gave a DVD "Take a Load off Your Heart", which was a cardiologist and a man who had to have by pass surgery speaking about heart health. That was very informative. The doctors told me I do not have heart disease, so some of that didn't apply to my case, but I did learn a lot on how to keep my heart healthy. Basically it's just eat a healthy, well balanced diet, get plenty of exercise, and learn how to handle stress. Stress is really bad for your heart.

When I came to do rehab the first thing they did was put a heart monitor on me and take my blood pressure. My blood pressure was always very low like 90 over 60. They wanted me to drink a lot, because just the extra fluid can raise blood pressure.Then once everything was hooked up and I showed up on their computer I started with stretches to warm up. That first day I didn't do much. Walked about 5 minutes on the treadmill, rested, then on the Nustep, rested, then on the bicycle. For the first two weeks I was not allowed to use my arms on the Nustep and the bicycle. That was orders from Dr. Holmberg and was because of the dissection. Usually that just applies for those who had open heart surgery.

I had 36 sessions of cardiac rehab - Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Slowly they increased my exercise until I was spending 45 minutes. I was on the treadmill 20 minutes (1 mile), Nustep 15 minutes and on the treadmill again for 10 minutes (1/2 mile). The rehab helped me so much. I was scared to do anything at first. Working out at cardiac rehab with a heart monitor on and knowing that everything was fine gave me the confidence I needed. The nurses were great and I made some good friends there. I was not allowed to drive for 4 weeks, so Irene took me where I needed to go. I often took some of the children with me. They enjoyed it and the people there enjoyed having the children there. How often is a mother with a 4 week old baby at cardiac rehab?! All the other people were elderly.

By the time I was done in early November I was fully recovered. Those three months the drs. told me it would take to recover were not as long as they sounded when I was flat on my back. Praise the Lord for healing! I still dealt some with anxiety, but that gradually got better too.

Peggy Perkins, head nurse in cardiac rehab.


Nu step... you pedal with your feet and the things you hold onto with your hands go back and forth