Adjusting to a New normal

I was now at home from the hospital, but life was not back to normal. I had hit a huge bump in the road of life and needed quite a bit of adjusting in my thinking. Coming home from the hospital with a new baby is always an adjustment. This homecoming adjustment was much greater. Not only did I have a newborn baby, I had come through an unexpected, life threatening circumstance. My activities and diet had changed. That was pretty major, but not as big as the emotional roller coaster I was on.

After Joes left it was time to make supper. I think the girls were pretty glad to hand the responsibility of meal planning over to me. We had LOTS of food in the house. People were bringing so much food we didn't have any room in the refrigerator and freezers anymore. Most of the meals were casseroles. Those did not fit into my low fat, low sodium diet, so we decided to just make plain tomato soup for supper that first evening. Since my daily allowance of salt was only 1/8 teaspoon, we decided we would cook everything without salt and the others could salt their food however they wanted. Have you ever eaten everything without salt? It isn't very tasty!

My heart attack had happened while sitting at the table to eat. That first evening at home I could not bring myself to sit at the table. I knew that was not what caused the heart attack, but it was scary. It was like a car accident victim not wanting to get back into a car. I stayed on my recliner to eat. If I remember right I was able to sit at the table the next day.

Sitting was very uncomfortable, so after supper I lay on the couch. It was hot outside, so everyone wanted to be inside. The air conditioner was noisy and I wasn't used to it. The children were happy and excited to have Mom at home again. All in all it was pretty hectic. As much as I wanted to be with the children I soon moved upstairs to our bedroom. I just couldn't cope with all the noise and commotion. Ah! My own bed with the memory foam felt so much better than a hard hospital bed. But I felt scared and vulnerable. Like I said in a previous post, there is a feeling of security in a hospital. Now I was at home, at least 15 minutes from a hospital. OK, I know that sounds like a lack of faith. We trust God, right? Yes! I did trust God, but the reality was, something could still go wrong and I was afraid. I always made sure I had my cell phone with me. Even something simple like going to the bathroom and locking the door was unsettling. What if I would just drop over and die. At bedtime I told Edward I have this discomfort in my chest and I don't know what it is. He prayed for me and after I had slept awhile it went away. I know now that it was just anxiety.

I came home with five different medications... Effient, Metoprolol, Lisinopril, Atorvastatin, and Aspirin. While at the hospital the nurses always brought them to me at the right time. Now I had to figure out when to take what. Everything was clearly labeled, so it wasn't as hard as I first thought. Edward bought a pill organizer and that made it much easier.

Edward and the girls got everyone settled down for the night. Michael's crib had been moved into the girls' room. They took care of him at night for about two weeks until I felt able to do it again. The night seemed strangely quiet and dark. In the hospital there were always lights on, people talking, and phones ringing, especially in the CCU where the nurses' station was right outside my door. I was able to sleep pretty good. There were some times that I lay awake, unable to sleep. That was when the nights seemed long and dark...

During the day I spent most of my time in bed or on the couch. My hips still made sitting very uncomfortable. I was supposed to walk twice a day. That really helped me get back into shape and after about a week my hips did not bother me much. At first I did all my walking in the house, since outside is mostly hilly, and I could only walk on level ground. Back and forth - around the rooms this way then that way so that I don't get dizzy. :) It was amazing how tired I got! I had to check my heart rate regularly. It could not go much above 100. Evenings it tended to go a little high. I don't know why, but it was a bit unsettling, so I didn't always take my evening walk.

Edward does remodeling and painting. To make it quieter here at home he took the three boys with him everyday. That was so nice that he was able to do that. Once when he was at the store they gave the boys some hats they were lusting for.......

Cardiologist Visit

I will interrupt my story a bit here. Today I had an appointment with Dr. Holmberg, my cardiologist. I was sitting in the outpatient clinic waiting to get checked in when Joanie, a nurse I met in cardiac rehab came to get someone else. When she saw me, she got a big smile, came over and hugged me and said how good it is to see me again! She had seen my name on the chart for today and was so glad. That was nice. :)

My blood pressure was low - 100 over 70. Heart rate was low too. Joanie was a little concerned, especially when I told her it's in the low 40s sometimes. She said I have to be sure to tell Dr. Holmberg. He didn't seem very concerned since I don't have problems with feeling light headed. He said some people's heart rate is in the 40s. He wants me to stay on the beta blocker, metoprolol, to take stress off the arteries to help avoid another dissection. He also wants me to stay on Plavix and baby aspirin because of where my stents are located. They are at the top of my left anterior descending artery, which is the main artery, supplying blood to 70% of the heart. We don't want anything to happen there is what he said. I also have to stay on the cholesterol medicine because my cholesterol had gone too high this winter when I got off for a while. I was disappointed about that because cholesterol medicine is kind of hard on a person. He said my high cholesterol is likely hereditary and that can't be kept low by watching your diet. It wasn't extremely high, but I am now classified as "high risk". I need to go in next week to get it checked again to see if it has come down since I am on meds again. Good news was I don't need to see him again for a year!

I asked about getting more testing done through Mayo Clinic. He said it wouldn't benefit me anything, but might help years down the road with research. What Mayo would do is blood work to check for genetic factors that might cause spontaneous coronary artery dissection to see if it might be hereditary. My parents and siblings would also have to do this testing. I probably won't do it...

After I was done in the out patient clinic I went back to cardiac rehab to say hi to Peggy and Kathy. I also had to congratulate Peggy. She was named one of the "100 Great Iowa Nurses for 2015".

And now tomorrow and Wednesday I go to college to do the final tests to get my GED (now called high school equivalence test). The only thing I'm worried about is that I do not get a headache!! The reason I am doing this test now in my "old age" is because some states require it to home school your children.

And then I have to make an appointment with an oral surgeon about my wisdom tooth that is erupting. Yes! I am getting my first wisdom tooth. Maybe that is why I have all these headaches???

Homecoming

Friday morning dawned with an air of anticipation. If all went as planned I could go home. Early in the morning a lab worker came to draw blood. She commented on some tracts the children had left laying around and told me how I had such good kids. I told her she can have some tracts and asked her if there is anything I can pray for her. She opened up and told me some of the difficulties she was facing. A very worldly, lost and hurting woman with little concept of Godliness. My prayer was that somehow I could be a light to all the people I was meeting in the hospital.

Next, two men came to do an echocardiogram aka ultrasound of my heart. It's like I've heard many times... you lose your dignity pretty fast in a hospital. :( The first man took some pictures then the second man put an illuminator in my IV. As that was going through my heart, he took some more pictures. It was pretty interesting. He explained how the illuminator is really just lots of super tiny bubbles that pass out through the lungs when the blood goes through the lungs. He showed me both sets of pictures. The ones with the illuminator were definitely more clear. Then the second man, who was just learning how to do an echo wanted to try his hand at it. I guess they need to learn on someone...

Edward came in a little bit later than usual. He had some business to attend to first. When the PT came to take me for a walk he had good news. The echo showed my heart function had improved quite a bit and I was allowed to go home, but then he said he isn't supposed to be telling me this, so when the doctor comes in I'm supposed to act as if I didn't know! This day he had me go up and down a flight of stairs to see what my BP and heart rate does. It was fine. While we were walking in the halls we came across a man (a patient in his gown...) who was trying to open a door to the outside. Josh, the PT, left me standing in the hall by myself while he went to tell the man to get back to his room. He was trying to hide a pack of cigarettes, apparently trying to sneak out to have a smoke. Poor man. His smoking is probably what landed him in the hospital with heart problems.  For some reason when we came back from the walk and I sat down on the bed I felt hot and light headed. I didn't say anything, just laid back and rested. It soon went away. I think I was just tired...

And then Dr. Holmberg came with the good news that I may go home. The ejection fraction of my heart had improved from 25 - 30 % to 45 - 50%. I did still have some fluid around my heart. He said again that he expects me to have a full recovery in three months. In several weeks he wanted me to start cardiac rehab. Meanwhile I would have to do some walking at home. He wanted to see me again in about 3 weeks and do another echocardiogram. I would be able to have that done in Atlantic.

I would have to be on a low cholesterol, low sodium diet. Dr. Holmberg offered to send a dietitian to explain more about it. I felt like I understood it pretty good. After all, I have been cooking since I was a little girl! But life in the hospital can be boring, and I thought I might be able to get some tips from a dietitian, so I said I would like that. I have taken a keen interest in healthy cooking for a long time. I thought our diet was pretty healthy, so I was surprised to learn that my cholesterol was too high. It was 240 and they recommend having it under 200, especially if you have heart problems. The only thing we could figure that caused the high cholesterol was the 2 fried eggs I ate for breakfast every morning. Dr. Holmberg told me I should not eat more than three eggs a week. One egg has more cholesterol than I was allowed to have daily!

Josh, the PT came back with a book of instructions. Yes, a BOOK! There were several pages of does and don'ts for the next six to eight weeks. I could not lift more than 10 pounds. Thankfully my baby weighed only six pounds! I could not do anything where I would have to lift my arms above my head like washing windows or hanging out laundry. An interesting thing he said is the last to do is pushing a vacuum cleaner. I had to walk twice a day, increasing my time gradually. It had to be on level ground, not up hill and not in the hot sun. He told me over and over that if I start having chest pains I have to take the nitro pills and either have Edward drive me to the hospital or call the ambulance. Later when we were doing our research we found out that a large percent of people with SCAD have a recurrence. I am so glad he did not tell me that.

The lactation consultant also visited me. She really thought I should try nursing. She gave me a business card for the pediatrician we could take the baby to, to make sure the medication was not harmful to him. She thought the benefits would outweigh the risks. After she left we discussed the pros and cons. We finally decided to go with formula. We know that is safe. Nobody was able to tell us if the medication I was taking was going to be safe. It was a hard decision on my part. I believe any nursing mother will understand the grief I felt... Well, maybe not unless you had to make that decision too. So many times we don't understand until we experience something personally.

And then the discharge process started. Orders were sent to the pharmacy for all my meds. I was SO glad for one thing. Earlier in the week a nurse told me I might have to give myself heparin shots in the stomach. She gave me one that day. Horrors! I did not want to do that!!! Apparently blood work showed I did not need them. I was given one dose of Coumadin, but didn't have to take that at home either. The only blood thinner I had to take besides the daily aspirin was Effient. It was after lunch now. My IV and heart moniter were removed and I was free to get dressed and comb my hair. Oh that felt so good! My hips were still badly out of shape. I could hardly get out of bed and stand up without falling. Laying down was the only comfortable position. A PT had given me exercises the day before that should help. A nurses' aide came with a wheel chair to take me to the door, but then the meds weren't ready yet. Finally we were able to go! Edward had been busy taking out all the STUFF that had accumulated. When we came down to pick up the meds they still weren't ready. We probably waited at least 30 minutes. Because of my hips I could hardly sit and the wheel chair was so uncomfortable. I didn't feel strong enough to stand or walk around and the chairs weren't very comfortable either. It was a long wait. Finally everything was ready and we were on our way home.

After such a traumatic happening there is a sense of security in the hospital. It was a little scary to leave that security. What if.........??? The healing process had only started. I didn't realize that emotionally I would go down before I went up.

My brother Joe and family came and spent the day at our house. They decided not to come to the hospital since I was expected to be released anyway. The children all stayed at home too. They were very happy to have Joes there with them. We were having some very hot weather and with my heart issues I was supposed to stay out of the heat. Since we did not have air conditioning in our house, Joe stopped in Des Moines and got a big window unit that he put in the living room. He also helped the boys weed the strawberry patch and put electric fence around the sweet corn patch to keep the raccoons out of it. Anna Mary helped with the laundry and cleaning, some of which had been sadly neglected. They also picked a bunch of beans.

We were thankful for the cool breeze, but it took some getting used to the noisy fan. And besides, it blew right at my favorite recliner. Thankfully the heat wave soon passed and we actually did not have to use it that much.

With my troublesome hips the hour long ride home was long and uncomfortable. The children were calling, wondering WHEN we're coming. Finally we were at home. A large "Welcome home Mom" sign was at the end of the driveway. Everyone seemed a bit shy as they came out to greet us. Except for Rhoda who had her second birthday that day. She came running and squealing, "MOOMMM!" It was good to be home, but after a quiet hospital room all the noise and commotion was a bit overwhelming. After visiting a bit Joe and Anna Mary and family had to leave. Jonathan had saved Rhoda's birthday gift till I was at home to watch her open it.

He gave her a rock and a night light that we probably had for 10 years already! Ah! the simplicity of childhood. She was as happy with that simple gift as she would have been with an expensive one, and Jonathan was happy to give her some of his treasures.

I was finally able to mother my baby. :)

Hospital Life Part IV

We thank the Lord for healing! All the children are recovered from their bout with influenza B, and Eward and I did not get it at all. Praise the LORD!

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Now to continue with my SCAD experience... We are ready for day 4 which was a Wednesday...
After another restless night our day started very early when a lab worker came in at 3:00 to draw blood. Right behind her came another nurse with the scales to weigh me. After they left we just laughed. This was so funny, being weighed at 3:00 in the morning! But, such is hospital life. The reason they were weighing me every day was to make sure I wasn't retaining fluids, which can happen if the heart is not working like it should. Thanks to the unappetizing low fat no sodium diet I was losing weight pretty fast. I probably also lost my appetite from shock.

This day Jonathan was the lucky one to come to the hospital with Dad. I don't remember how Irene went home, but all the other children stayed home that day. There was laundry etc. to do. They happily welcomed Baby Michael home when Mable Chupp brought him back. :) Here are several pictures of what was going on at home.

Ruth Anna put the fly swatter in her dress, hopped on her trike and said, "Now I am a policeman!"

Playing on the neighbor's hay bales.

Joel (12) mothering Michael

Rhoda (almost 2) was not having a good day. Poor girl. So much had happened. First we bring home a new baby. Then Mom disappears for a week. What is happening?

She was crying and crying. Seems to me an older sibling was taking pictures instead of comforting her... Later they could not find her.

They found her sleeping on the top bunk in the boys' bedroom. Poor girl. How I wished I could be at home to rock her.

*

My day was uneventful. I was taken on two walks again. The children liked to say "The PT took me cruising in the halls". PT = Physical Therapist - then think of the car called PT Cruiser. :) I still had a headache. They now started treating it with Tramadol, a narcotic like pain reliever. FINALLY, after a week of constant headache I started getting relief.

Jonathan took a great interest in watching the helicopter. Creighton is one of the two trauma hospitals in Omaha. This was one of the days they were on for getting all the trauma patients. We could always hear the helicopter and they could watch the helipad from the waiting room of the CCU where I was. One time there were several police cars there too. Probably a crime victim... I was a little concerned to have this 6 year old walking the halls all by himself, but he was fine. He knew those hallways better than I ever did!

This afternoon our visitors were Scott and Grace Goertzen. Earlier in the day the nurse I had Sunday night came to visit me with her daughter. She said she prays for her patients and likes to come visit them when she is off duty. That was encouraging!!!

 In the evening Pat Lowis came to stay with me overnight. She was a blessing. Anytime during the night when I was restless she was awake and asking me if I need anything. That evening when the nurses shift changed my day nurse came in with a young male nurse, Jasper, and said he would be my night nurse. Is that OK? Well, I wasn't impressed with having a male nurse, but didn't want to say so to his face, so I said, "Yes, that's OK". I did remember that it was usually the nurses' aide that helped with personal needs like restroom etc. He turned out to be very respectful and one of the best nurses. And so ended the fourth day in the hospital.

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Thursday was going to be a day with a bit more happening. First I had an ultrasound of my heart in the morning. Today was the day for the CT angiogram, so I was not allowed to eat or drink.

Edward brought Annetta, Marian and Michael with him. They didn't come till later. He had gone to his job site where some of the men from church were finishing the job for him. That was appreciated!

I did love my "little man" even if those special newborn feelings were not there. Here I was admiring a new outfit they had gotten for him. He was such a tiny baby. At 2 weeks he only weighed 6 1/2 pounds.

*

Sometime in the morning we heard a beeping noise and something seemed to be going on. The nurses seemed very busy and no one was bringing the usual meds etc. We soon realized there was a code blue on the floor. After a while we heard someone crying and crying. A different person brought my meds. We asked the PT later what was going on. He just said there was a code on the floor. I liked to keep my door open so that I could watch the activity. Later after things had settled down I overheard a conversation between an older doctor and some students. He was telling them how to handle circumstances like this - how to comfort the family members. Apparently someone had died...

My cat scan was to be soon after lunch, but we waited and waited. It wasn't till later in the day when they finally came for me. Maybe there had been an emergency and I was the one that got pushed out till later. Oh well, I had nothing to do anyway! As they were taking me down to radiology the nurse said I really gave them a scare in the cath lab on Sunday. She said they thought they might have to shock my heart to get it back into rhythm. Really! I had not known that. What really did that mean? Did I almost die? I didn't ask her, but that created a lot of new thoughts...

So what is a CT angiogram? It's often called a cat scan. It is a test that uses x-rays to provide detailed pictures of the heart and the blood vessels that go to the heart, lung, brain, kidneys, head, neck, legs, and arms. The reason for this scan was to check my other arteries. A large percent of people that have SCAD also have fibromuscular dysplasia which causes malformations in blood vessels. Thankfully those test results were negative for me. I had to lay on a narrow bed that went back and forth in a donut shaped thing. Everyone else left the room so that they are not exposed to the radiation of the x-ray. An automated voice told me when to hold my breath and when to breath normally. At one point they put a dye into my IV. Thankfully I had been forewarned about what happens. As soon as the dye gets into the vein a warm sensation passes through the whole body and a metallic taste fills the mouth. It only lasts a few seconds, but feels very weird. One lady didn't know that would happen and thought she was dying!

 After this was done I was taken back to my room and finally allowed to eat and drink. It was about 4:00. For the first time this week I was starting to feel hungry, so I ordered some cheerios and juice while I waited for supper. Meanwhile they were busy getting ready to move me to another room. A step down is what they called it. I didn't need to be in the CCU anymore and this room would be cheaper. Edward and the girls were moving my stuff. We had quite an accumulation! While I was eating, Rita and Mary Pratt stopped in. How encouraging to have friends who care! And then I was taken to my new room. That evening Teresa Smidt and several children visited.

Annetta was very tired and Irene had spent the last night with me and gotten very little sleep, so taking care of the baby overnight looked pretty overwhelming. Edward called Rita Pratt to see if she would like to have him for the night. She was very happy to take him. Like I had written earlier, the shock of everything had taken away my motherly feelings for him. It was very sad to not even care much that my baby was going to someone else...

After supper Edward and the children were getting ready to leave. Marian (8) begged to stay with me overnight. We saw no reason why that would be a problem and told her she may. Soon after Edward left, the head nurse came in. She asked if Marian is staying overnight. When I told her that she was planning to, she said she can't, she is too young. If anything would happen, they could not be responsible for her. I could see her point, but it was hard for Marian. I called Edward and he had to turn around and come back. Thankfully they had not gone very far yet. Marian was crying. She said she's scared and can't sleep well when I'm not at home. I tried to comfort her. Hopefully I would be able to go home the next day.

After everyone had left again I was feeling lonely, sad, and scared. What did the future hold? Would I ever be healthy again? And the greatest fear of all, would I have another heart attack?  I opened my Bible to Psalms. It opened to Psalm 138 and I read, "The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands." I was so blessed I called Edward and told him what I had just read. I felt the Lord was telling me that everything will be alright. "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me." I read on into chapter 139. There I read, "Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me." This reminded me of Revelation 1:17 .. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; Jesus was very near to me that night. I envisioned him beside my bed with His hand on me saying to me, "Fear not." My headache was gone and this bed was a little more comfortable than the other one. I slept better than I had any other night in the hospital.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

His Grace is Sufficient

The following is an excerpt from Streams in the Desert compiled by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman. 

Truth I needed reminded of today.


"The other evening I was riding home after a heavy day's work. I felt very wearied, and sore depressed, when swiftly and suddenly as a lightning flash, that text came to me, "My grace is sufficient for thee."...

I said, 'I should think it is, Lord,' and burst out laughing.
..."It seemed to make unbelief so absurd. It was as though some little fish, being very thirsty, was troubled about drinking the river dry, and [the river] said, 'Drink away, little fish, my stream is sufficient for thee.'
"Or, it seemed after the seven years of plenty, a mouse feared it might die of famine; and Joseph might say, 'Cheer up, little mouse, my granaries are sufficient for thee.' "
 - C.H. Spurgeon


His grace is great enough to meet the great things-
The crashing waves that overwhelm the soul,
The roaring winds that leave us stunned and breathless,
The sudden storms beyond our life's control.

His grace is great enough to meet the small things -
The little pin-prick troubles that annoy,
The insect worries, buzzing and persistent,
The squeaking wheels that grate upon our joy.
 - Annie Johnson Flint

The Busyness of Life

I have had a lot of distraction from writing this blog. We spent March 1st to 9th in Kalona, Iowa for Youth Bible School. Our two oldest were students and Edward was part of the staff, so our whole family went. Since all the houses were filled with the 138 youth, we camped out at the church. A larger church had been rented for the event. We took our bedding and food along and it worked out very well. That is, till Michael got sick. Tuesday forenoon he threw up over the carpeted steps going down to the basement. He threw up seven times. That ended all our plans for the day. Since we didn't want to start an epidemic at Bible school the children and I stayed "home" all day. By the next day he seemed to be OK except for diarrhea, so we went over for lunch and chorus practice. Thursday evening I started to feel sick. During the night Rhoda started throwing up. Thankfully I had a bowl handy and was able to catch it all. By that time I was so sick I was almost fainting. I made it back to bed and the faint feeling soon was better. By morning I was feeling pretty good, but Edward, Joel and Simon were sick! Edward wasn't able to do his duties at Bible school. We stayed at "home" at the church all day. Simon did not not get very sick. In the afternoon Jonathan started feeling sick. He then fell asleep on the chairs and I thought, "I wonder if that's a good idea..." Well, I should have done something about it, but I didn't. He woke up vomiting managing to hit 3 cushioned chairs and getting some on the carpet. :( Thankfully I was able to get a shampooer and wash it all up right away. Saturday I was feeling fine, so I went over to Fairview where Bible school was. Edward and Joel felt well enough to babysit Rhoda and Ruth Anna. I had really wanted to be there for the singing and testimonies. We got our supper there then stopped at the grocery store in Kalona and got chicken and rice to cook for the others' supper. They were all feeling better. Marian and Ruth Anna completely slipped out of it. We were so thankful because when Marian starts she usually ends up needing IV to stop vomiting, so we thank God for keeping her from getting this stomach flu. Meanwhile Irene and Annetta were also not feeling well. They were not sick enough to miss any of the days, but had several days of stomach ache. They stayed at Larry Zooks with 17 other students. Sunday we were all feeling pretty good and able to take in all the activities. Monday morning we packed up all our stuff and cleaned the church then went to pick up the girls at Larrys. When we got there they were SICK. one had a temp of 103 and the other 102.5. It was a good thing Bible school was over and we were going home!

This past week now ALL nine of the children were very sick. Two of them ended up seeing a doctor. Tests were positive for influenza B. Thankfully Edward and I didn't get it. So guess what I was doing all week! :) We came home Monday afternoon with almost no clean clothes, so I had to do lots of laundry besides caring for sick children. Last evening I just sank down on my recliner and didn't feel like moving anymore. Most of them were getting better. A few were still very sick. Ruth Anna was saying all the time she feels fine, she's just tired. Even with a temp of 102 she insisted she's not sick. Yesterday afternoon she said she's so tired. She curled up on the couch with a blanket and fell asleep. When she woke up she was very hot. Her temp was now 104.8! She finally admitted that she was sick! Jonathan got tight all of a sudden Thursday evening so Edward took him to the ER. Chest ex-rays were clear, so after a nebulizer treatment they sent him home with an inhaler in case he gets tight again.

Once everyone is well and things are back to normal I want to get my thoughts together and finish writing my experience with SCAD.

Here are some pictures from the week of Bible school...

The chorus

Since all the chairs and tables had been taken out of the basement dining area the children had a lot of fun roller blading.

We had a nice living space behind the chairs in the sanctuary. We slept in the nursery and the children slept in the rooms upstairs.

And I did have to add a picture of the photographer. :) Jonathan 8

Hospital Life Part III

Life settled into a routine. Tuesday morning Edward brought Joel and Simon along. I wanted the baby there too, so they brought him along, even though I couldn't really take care of him. It just seemed right to have him there. Dr. Prya was so fascinated at how the boys cared for him. She asked Joel if he would take such good care of a baby girl too. :) I held him awhile and he did seem to relax and know that I was his Mom. I was afraid he wouldn't even know who his Mother is since I couldn't take care of him. :( He was a calm, contented baby which was such a blessing. Thank God! My last three babies had been very fussy.

That morning Dr. Holmberg came into my room followed by several students with their pens and note pads. He said he is taking over for Dr. Biddle. He's one of the cardiologists that comes out to Atlantic. I'm wondering if that is why he took over. Anyway, he is a really nice doctor and I like him. He gave an outline of what would be happening the rest of my stay. On Thursday they would do a CT angiogram. I did not know what that would be except he said it's a non-invasive procedure. They wanted to check other arteries, especially the renal arteries, to make sure they all look OK.  Also, someone from physical therapy would be coming to get me out of bed and walking. The students didn't say a word, but they were taking notes. It was so interesting. I liked to keep my door open to watch the activity. These older doctors would go into a room with some students. After a while they came out, then they would stand in the hallway and he would be talking to them. I decided maybe one of our sons should become a cardiologist! I would point out to Edward different doctors that visited me regularly. Some of these always came in early before Edward came in, so he searched them out in the hall to talk with them. They said what happened to me is very unusual. They called to other university hospitals as far away as Japan and Australia to get more information. I think it was Dr. Holmberg who said that in his 20 years of practice I was his third patient with a dissection like this.

Dr. Holmberg

After a while Josh, the physical therapist (PT), came in. He was going to take me on a walk in the halls. So far I had spent all my time in bed except to use the bedside commode. My hips or lower back were badly out of shape. I could hardly stand up and get started walking. Once I was going, it didn't bother me much. This had started before I was in the hospital. Laying in bed all the time had just made it worse. It was a big ordeal to get out of bed and start walking. First he got me to sit on the edge of the bed, then he checked my heart rate and blood pressure. He kept the blood pressure cuff on my arm and had a little thing on my finger that showed how fast my heart was beating. It took a little bit to get all my wires and stuff organized. Then we were off. We stopped every few minutes so that he could check my BP and heart rate. It all stayed fine. I was up for about 10 minutes. It was amazing how tired I got! He told me I could sit out on a chair awhile if I wanted to, but I could hardly sit because of my hips, so I went back to bed. I felt so disheveled it was embarrassing to be out in the halls where everyone could see me. Sunday night my headache was so bad I took everything out of my hair except two barrettes to keep it out of my face. I of course did not have the foresight to bring a brush along, so I had been unable to do anything with it. Although my hair has thinned quite a bit it's long, well below my waist, so it was always in the way.

That afternoon Dave and Mary came again. We had asked Mary to bring along my hair brush from home. She brushed and braided my hair, which felt so good, but we had no band to put on the end of the braid. We could probably have found something somewhere in this big hospital. One of the nurses thought she might have something, but must have forgotten. 

On Sunday already I had strong desire for an anointing. So now we had an anointing service according to James 5:14-15 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

 God did not miraculously heal me right then and there, but He gave me the peace and assurance that we are in His will. I was still struggling with that monster, fear. I will talk more about that later. When I look back now and understand better some of the serious complications that could have happened there is no doubt in my mind that He kept me safe. Sometime after I came home we were studying SCAD. One source said that 90% of SCAD patients have a recurrence in the first week and 50% have one in the first two months. A recurrence is when another dissection happens in another artery. So I praise God that I am one of the 10% that did not have a recurrence.

Late afternoon Chris and Royale Charles came to visit. We were so encouraged. Royale mothered Michael for me. :) She changed his diaper and fed him his bottle. Edward and the boys were doing a good job, but they just didn't have that "mother's touch". We still hadn't figured out the bottle. It was a Nuk nipple with a vent. Which way do we hold it? Should the vent be on top or bottom? One way it seemed he couldn't get anything out. It wasn't till months later when we got the bigger bottles and read the directions on the box that we learned we were holding it upside down! :) Oh well, he got what he needed. Chris and Royale were very generous and brought a huge gift... 356 diapers, 900 wipes, and formula. They also gave large bottles of fish oil and vitamin D, supplements that are good for the heart. A mere thank you doesn't seem enough...

We are so blessed! I wondered about the other patients there in the Cardiac Care Unit. How did they cope if they did not have faith in God? Did they have caring friends and family? None of our family lives close to us, but they did very well in calling and showing their support in  that way. My mother called every day. She has Parkinson's disease and cannot travel anymore, so that made all the more special.

After Chris and Royale left Edward and the boys got ready to leave too. For some reason my heart rate was higher, around 120. I was kind of worried. Simon was very worried. The nurses didn't say anything about it, but they did increase my dose of metoprolol. Edward prayed and then they left. Irene stayed with me again. We gave Michael to Mabel Chupp for the night. :(::: I was sad. I so much wanted to be able to take care of my newborn baby. I always relished those special moments with a newborn. It seemed my body had gone into survival mode after my heart attack and I lost my motherly feelings. All those special warm and cuddly fuzzy feelings that go with snuggling your newborn - GONE! I felt robbed. I could not bring them back. They did come back to a certain extent, but it took a long time. It feels as though I missed all of that newborn bonding time. God still left that song phrase stuck in my mind - "Rejoice in the Lord HE MAKES NO MISTAKE".